FFVII Fear Factor
by Wizardman
Summary: 6 people from FF7 wants some money, do they decide to go on this TV show...
1. 1st stunt

FFVII Fear Factor (By wizardman)  
  
Contetants: Cloud, Barret, Tifa, Aeris, Yuffie, Cid  
  
Host: Vincent (I'd do Sephiroth, but that'd be too obvious)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fear Factor. I don't own FFVII or any of it's characters. I don't own squaresoft. (If I did, that'd be cool, but I don't.) I don't own anything else that has to do with Fear Factor of FF7.  
  
Vincent: Hello. Welcome to Fear Factor. 6 contestants will compete for 500,000 gil. ($50,000) They will perform 3 horrendous stunts. They won't like it, although it'll be hilarious to watch them. If the contestant fails to do the stunt, they're gone. If they're too wussy, I'm going to shoot them. Now for Fear factor.  
  
Cloud: I'm Cloud Strife. I'm from, uh... Nibelheim. Yeah, that's it. If I win, I'll pay for a hotel. Me, Tifa and Aeris.  
  
Barret: I'm Barret. If I win, I'm going home and workign at that bar. I'll fix up AVALANCHE too.  
  
Tifa: I'm Tifa. If I win, I'll give it to Cloud so we can have some fun.  
  
Aeris: I'm Aeris. I sell flowers. Want one?  
  
Cid: No. I'm Cid. If I win the money, then Vincent going to force me into a #$%&$%* anger management class. Then I'll spear him to death. HAHA! That or I'll get a new airship...  
  
Yuffie: If I lose, I'm going to steal the money!  
  
Barret: What if you win?  
  
Yuffie: I'm going to steal Cloud from Tifa and Aeris and have him all to myself!  
  
Aeris: Not if we can help it!  
  
Yuffie: You're dead. You don't count.  
  
Vincent: Shut the hell up already! Now, you're first task is to... Climb the ladder, go into the house, go to the other side of it, and jump 100 feet onto the airbag.  
  
Barret: ...The hell?  
  
Cid: No way I'm ^&^%^#$ doing that! Although If i tried, I'd beat all your asses!  
  
Vincent: The person going first is... Cid.  
  
Cid: $#!%. I'll do it.  
  
*Cid climbs the ladder effortlessly, runs through the house, and jumps into the airbag failry quickly.  
  
Vincent: Your time was... 42 seconds  
  
Cid: $#!%. I was trying for 30!  
  
Vincent: 30 is impossible. Sephiroth did it in 37.  
  
Cid: &^($. I can't even beat HIM.  
  
Vincent: Cloud, you're next.  
  
Cloud. Can i take my sword.  
  
Vincent: That'll make your time worse, so of course you can.  
  
*Cloud slowly clibs the ladder, runs through the house, and jumps into the airbag.  
  
Vincent: 50 seconds. I told you not to take the sword.  
  
Cloud: that wouldnt have helped.  
  
Tifa: I could've held onto it for you.  
  
Aeris: I wanted to hold on. I'll always hold it for you.  
  
Yuffie: If I steal the money, I'll give you some to hold the sword.  
  
Cloud: You can all have it.  
  
Vincent: O_O NOT THAT SWORD!!!  
  
Cloud: Oh, This one. *Takes sword off back and gives it to Tifa and Aeris.*  
  
Vincent: Barret, you're next.  
  
*Barret climbs the ladder, trips in the house and leaps as far as he can onto the airbag.  
  
Vincent: 50 seconds! Looks like everyone advances!  
  
Yuffie: YAY!  
  
Vincent: I meant the guys. By the way, It's your turn.  
  
*Yuffie run up the ladder, runs to the other side and pauses  
  
Yuffie: ... I can't do it. 100 feet is too high!  
  
*Yuffie eventually jumps.  
  
Vincent: 1 minute 45 seconds. Geez.  
  
Yuffie: My life sucks. (Steals Vincent's gun)  
  
Vincent: Tifa, you're up.  
  
*Tifa run sup the ladder, runs through the house, but a hook pulls her skirt, so she jumps out of the house in a thong.  
  
Vincent: 57 seconds. Wow...  
  
*Cloud begins drooling.  
  
Aeris: HAHA!  
  
Cloud: Tifa's my girl now. (Continues to drool)  
  
Vincent: Aeris, you're up.  
  
*Aeris slowly climbs the ladder, walks through the house and jumps into the airbag.  
  
Vincent: 1 minute 6 seconds. Yuffie, you're gone... Where's my damn gun???  
  
Yuffie: I stole it. *shoots Vincent*  
  
Vincent: Ugh... Yuffie's gone, and the new host is... Cait Sith! *dies*  
  
Barret: Oh $#!%.  
  
Cid: ... swear words can't even say my #$&^@$% despair...  
  
Cait Sith: HI! You can all go home. Just come back tomorrow for your next task!  
  
What will happen next? R+R abou tit. Also let me know who I should eliminate next, or who should win. Or any comments/suggestions, as this is my first fan fiction. 


	2. 2nd stunt

FFVII Fear Factor- Stunt 2 (by wizardman)  
  
Host: Cait Sith  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII, Fear Factor, or anything relating to either one.  
  
Cait: Hello. Welcome back to Fear Factor people  
  
Cid: Yeah yeah whatever  
  
Barret: Just give us our assignment.  
  
Cait: You get to eat something! Yay! *Cait takes the cover off of the table*  
  
All: O_O  
  
Cait: This is mog behind!  
  
Barret: We have to eat ass???  
  
Cid: I ain't doing that!  
  
Aeris: You're a sick person.  
  
Cait: Yes I am! And how many inches you have to eat will be decided by this. *whispers to everyone*  
  
Cid: ... Are you on @%$^$%* drugs or something?  
  
Aeris: That's impossible!  
  
Cloud: Oh yeah! piece of cake!  
  
Barret: even I don't know this!  
  
Tifa: I was never asked the question.  
  
Cait: Tifa, you get what's left over. There might be none. The question is...  
  
Guess Tifa' breast size.  
  
Tifa: What? *slaps Cait multiple times*  
  
Aeris: I told you he was sick.  
  
Cait: Yes, I am sick. I'm not even human. I don't count. We randomly decided who gets to go first, and Aeris, you're first. Whisper your guess in my ear.  
  
..........  
  
Cait: You get 9 inches of it!  
  
Aeris: Come on, it can't be that far off!  
  
Cait: You apparently haven't talked to her enough. Now eat.  
  
7 minutes later...  
  
Cait: Come on... finish! you got 1 inch left. You got it!  
  
Aeris: Worsth tasthing thing ever. *gags it and attempts to throw up.*  
  
Cait: Here's a bucket. Beat it. Cloud, you're next.  
  
Cloud: Easy! *whispers it*  
  
Cait: You get 2 inches!  
  
Cloud: Impossible. I think it's pretty obvious I was right. You just want me to lose!  
  
Cait: That's true, now eat!  
  
3 minutes later...  
  
Cait: Wow, that took you long enough Cloud.  
  
Cloud: Sorry, I don't exactly eat butt every day.  
  
Barret: You don't even eat every day, let alone eat ass!  
  
Cait: Barret, you're up.  
  
Barret: Fine. *whispers*  
  
Cait: You get 6 inches!  
  
Barret: I guessed way more than Cloud ever would have... Crap! Fine, give me the cheek.  
  
4 minutes later...  
  
Cait: Wow, that was fast. You must have been hungry.  
  
Barret: Uh, yeah, that's it. (I can't believe I LIKED it)  
  
Cait: Well Cid, you're up.  
  
Cid: Well, there's 19 inches of it left, I'd better pick something close. *Cid stares at Tifa, begins drooling, and gets slapped by Aeris.*  
  
Cait: You get 10 inches! You suck!  
  
Cid: $#!%. *Begins eating*  
  
Cait: You ate the whole thing in 2 minutes? Did you enjoy it?  
  
Cid: No, I just don't have taste buds, and I was very $@!#^&% hungry.  
  
Cait: Well Tifa, unless you want to try a guess...  
  
Tifa: Fine. *whispers*  
  
Cait: Your guess was exact! We'll make you eat 6 inches.  
  
10 minutes later...  
  
Cait: Almost there! Come on Tifa! Don't you want a night with Clousd in a hotel bed?  
  
*The butt is gone almost instantly.*  
  
Cait: Wow, didn't know she was so determined... Well, looks like all 5 of you advnace. This is going to be fun. Now Tifa, How would you like to exercise the guessing part of the stunt.  
  
*Cait gets his head knocked off by Aeris's staff. Aeris then kills the cat.*  
  
Tifa: Thanks. I hope he stays that way.  
  
Aeris: Perverted?  
  
Tifa: No, dead. I wonder who the new host is...  
  
Cid: $#!%. Not him as the host!!!  
  
Joe: hi. I am Joe Rogan. I get to be your host for the final stunts. Your past 2 were too easy, except for the guessing part.  
  
Tifa: o_O  
  
Joe: Don't worry, only 1 of you will win.  
  
Who should win the final stunt? R+R with comments/suggestions, or who you think should walk away with a 1/2 million gil. 


	3. 2 elimination stunts

FFVII Fear Factor- Elim. stunts 1 and 2 (by wizardman)  
  
Host: Joe Rogan  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII, Fear Factor, or anything relating to either one.  
  
Joe: Hello, and welcome to round three. Your stunts have been way too easy, and no one's getting eliminated. We are going to have a couple of elimination stunts. The first one is...  
  
I'm going to pick a name out of a hat. That person is gone. Then, I'll pick someone to put ON the show.  
  
Cid: What the @%$$ does that mean?  
  
Cloud: Worst idea ever.  
  
Joe: The person pulled out is... Cid  
  
Cid: That's it! *Spears Joe and kills him.  
  
Barret: Well, who are we going to put on?  
  
Tifa and Aeris: How about Vincent?  
  
All: Yeah, uh, good idea!  
  
Vincent: Hello.  
  
Aeris: Hi Vincent. Welcome back. We missed you.  
  
Cid: I didn't! *gets shot*  
  
Barret: I was expecting that. Vince, you're too predictable.  
  
Tifa: Well, who's the host?  
  
Vincent: I'll be the host again. Your second elimination stunt is...  
  
There is a target 50 feet from here. You will use this gun and try to see how many points you can get. You get 10 bullets. No more than that! (They cost a lot.) Now, the first person up is... Barret  
  
Barret: Alright! My specialty.  
  
Vincent: You must use this gun, not your arm.  
  
Barret: Damn! Oh well. *Fires 5 shots*  
  
Vincent: 4 bulls-eyes and a corner shot. That's 42 points!  
  
Barret: Wow! *fires 5 more*  
  
Vincent: One almost hit me, one hit the wood holding it up, and the other 3 were bulls-eyes. That's 70 points!  
  
Barret: You mean 72.  
  
Vincent: I had to take points off because you almost hit me.  
  
Barret: The hell? You made that up.  
  
Vincent: Yes I did. Aeris, you're up.  
  
Cloud: Wow, look at those guns.  
  
Barret: Uh Cloud, why are you looking at that you FFX-2 game? Aeris is about to shoot.  
  
Cloud: Huh, ok. Wow, she looks good with a gun.  
  
Barret: Yeah, she might beat you.  
  
Cloud: Hah!  
  
Aeris: *fires 3 shots*  
  
Vincent: 1 corner shot, one that barely missed the bulls-eye, and one that went way off. 11 points.  
  
Aeris: *fires another shot*  
  
MEOW!!!  
  
Aeris: oops... *fires 4 more*  
  
Vincent: 3 bulls-eyes and one that hit the pin holding it up. 51 points.  
  
Aeris: *shoots the last 2*  
  
Vincent: 2 misses. 51 points total.  
  
Barret: Alright, I advance!  
  
Vincent: I'll take my turn. *shoots 10 bulls-eyes* OK, now it's Tifa's turn.  
  
Cloud: Woohoo! more guns!  
  
Barret: You mean a gun.  
  
Cloud: No, I meant guns!  
  
Barret: Oooooooh.  
  
Tifa: Barret showed by a good technique. *shoots 5 bullets*  
  
Vincent: 4 bulls-eyes and one that missed the bulls eye by a bit. 48 points.  
  
Tifa: *fires 4 more*  
  
Vincent: 64 points.  
  
Tifa: *shoots a jumping one*  
  
Cloud: *Drools*  
  
Vincent: Way off. 64 points. It's Cloud's turn.  
  
Cloud: uh-oh. *fires 3 shots*  
  
Vincent: Nothing.  
  
Cloud: What? Uh, *shoots one at vincent*  
  
Vincent: Bulls-eye! 10 points.  
  
Cloud: Ok....? *shoots 6 shots at Vincent*  
  
Vincent: 46 points. Are you trying to hit me or something?  
  
Cloud: Uh, no. *shoots one more*  
  
Vincent: 51 points. Oh boy, a tie. Well, looks like you all advance again! (Looks at clock by the target.) We'll have to do one last stunt. Follow me...  
  
What will the last stunt be? Why has Cloud tied twice? Where did Joe Rogan go? How can Vincent be the host and a competitor? Why was Tifa almost as good with a gun as Barret? You will fin dout the answers too a couple of these questions, and a couple I'll leave to you to make up in your head. Until next time, R+R. 


End file.
